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what can brown do for you?
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Saturday, March 08, 2008
Yep. It's 3:22 AM and I just watched a group of punks pull the fire alarm outside. Good thing I decided to stay up, eh? Ah, the sweet, sweet sound, music to my virgin ears. Totem, how I love thee. Let me count the hours until the fire department get here. Infinity. Oh, I think I hear an overtone now....
3:22 AM
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Just got off the phone with my mom...fortunately I can get Nancy to send up the obit and memorial service leaflet for my complete asshead of a teacher. It's hard enough to know the depression my mom has been going through for a month, and lose grandpa, and have a fucking adware trojan attack my computer, and miss home, and n0w this crazy, crazy wench. I'm going to go talk to the exchange people today and see if I can still withdrawl from the class without an F. Why does everything have to be so difficult...I haven't gotten my way ONCE since I came up here. I didn't even really want to go to Portland too much, but that's another story. I was so upset last night I actually had to calm myself self down enough to go to sleep by reading the crappy Canadian 'recovery' bible I was obligated to take after stealing cookies from the Christian club's table in the beginning of the semester. It's probably the worst bible I've ever read, and I've seen many that have more value as rolling paper than a guide to salvation. I'm not too sure what I've been doing to make karma bite me quite so hard...I haven't fucked anyone over, at least not intentionally. Ah well, I think this whole situation deserves a bagel.
10:49 AM
Alright, so I haven't written in this thing for awhile. Years, that is...years. But this is the first time in awhile I've ever wanted to literally kill another human being. My crazy nazi bitch of an econ teacher is the worst person I've ever had to deal with, because I have to actually deal with her. I can't move away, I can't get the fuck OUT. She thinks I'm a liar (and unfortunately for her she's right), she hates me, and there's no way I can get a decent grade in this class even if I got 100% on every assignment from here on out....which wouldn't happen anyway because she can't teach for SHIT!! Worst professor I've had and will ever have. Period. She's retarded, and the icing on the cake is that she can't speak English, and neither can my TA or literally anyone else in my class. Canada?? I'm sorry, I thought I was in Shanghai. Sorry for my huge, obstrusive round eyes. I've tried to get out of this class 1000 times, but apparently UBC is totally into making their students utterly miserable by locking them into the courses they're enrolled in, even though fucking GoGlobal signed me up for this total piece...I would never have enrolled in a course where the teacher's name is Unjy Song. Yep, I'm that much of a crazy racist bitch, but I can tell that if they haven't gotten an English first name by the time they become a professor that I won't understand a word they're saying. How people like this even become professors is beyond me. Whew...I can guarantee the email I sent my exchange advisor was a lot more civil than this rant. Also, there's only so many people I can bitch to up here because Canadians are completely ambivalent about everything and would just tell me I'm a fucked up warmonger American. All the UC exchange kids are bombing it up here, even Julia's not acing anything, and she's graduating from Berkeley with high honors. What the hell is up with UBC? It thinks it's the shit...but it's not. Really...it's not. Do I like my professors in my other classes? Yes, I do. Does this crazy bitch hang over my head like a huge cloud all the time and ruin my mood at least 10 times a day? Yes, she does. She has discouraged me from coming to office hours to ask her for help, she won't reccomend me to any tutoring or study groups (which I'm pretty convinved don't exist anyway), and she's constantly paranoid that I'm trying to fuck her over and skate through this class. I've already abandoned hope of a good grade...now I'm just counting the weeks down until I never have to look at her ugly face, cosby sweaters, cuffed jeans and platform shoes ever again. Damn...I need a shower after this one.
12:08 AM
Monday, February 28, 2005
another blissful day at the workplace. i started by making my rendezvous to the post office, staring at the "Our goal is to help you in 5 minutes or less" sign for half an hour. and ladies, if youre looking for a man, dont go to the produce section of safeway. go to the nearest postal center. arabian hot dog vendors, construction workers mailing in their taxes, mexican day laborers walking by from Home Depot...if you crave attention, this is your heaven. after having one mexican help me take my stylish mail buckets out of my car (thats what he's there for...right?) I proceeded to some asian food joint over on morello to pick up lisa's lunch. when i walked in, every japanese employee (that means all of them) were wearing black t-shirts with "Got Sushi?" written on them. I figured they could only have shirts like that because they can relate to the horrible grammar.And they enjoy playing off a phrase that is probably strongly copyrighted, because doing so somehow brings them closer to American culture. and that's money, baby. I ended by driving back to the store, realizing lisa managed again to screw me out of at least 80 cents worth of gas. im such an idiot. I then sat around for 4 hours and then went home. case in point: my job is being lisa's personal bitch. and i hate myself for it. on a lighter note, i finally went to safeway and bought milk. nothing is more depressing than already pouring a bowl of cereal out and then realizing there's no way to eat it. It reminds me of that bullying asshole kid on the one commercial that ate everyone's cookies and then got the ol' one-two when everyone's thermos' were empty. what was that commercial about...oh, yeah. Got Milk? *
*not coined by the sushi japs, and that's why its wholesome
8:21 PM
Sunday, February 27, 2005
I find it really ironic that I've been working at UPS for about 9 months (I should have gotten pregnant when i got hired...cause then it would be a perfect excuse for quitting now) and i started this thing what, 2 years ago? man, how time flies. that also shows how uncreative UPS is by having the same ad slogan for 2 years. but it could be worse. Goldfish has been the snack that smiles back for centuries and i wont even venture near how long McDonalds has been inquiring whether or not people have had their break today. apparently now even chs itself has handy dandy catchphrases, or what we call ESLRS, brought to you by the same folks that push capital punishment, enforce democracy, believe in the divine right and slaughter homosexuals. that's right, the republicans. i couldn't tell you why or by what means, but all i know that is if im suddenly interrogated by a special tast unit blowing through the wall of the choir room during 4th period, i can say without hesitation that my motives and actions adhere to ESLR #4, "working collaboratively" within my assigned vocal ensemble. having the preparation to do this could one day save concord high's scholastic reputation and keep us funded and respected by the state. which basically means theyll keep sending us a stipend to provide the leadership class with much-coveted butcher paper and paint pens, so we can make signs in protest of everything else theyre cutting to keep the money rolling to us. i love government. it is so choice.
7:43 PM
Saturday, August 09, 2003
well well well. i am tired. got up early, went to cowell, found some obscure neighborhood parking spot for day two of the "Concord Cup" (sounds flashier than a bullshit swim meet...well, its not). a medium-sized pug named Bun (i found this out from the owner screaming in her front yard) followed me all the way to the park. mrs. carino, with a pleased expression, asked if i brought my dog to the meet. i replied that i have no clue whose dog it is as it proceeded to frantically skitter behind me while the woman screamed 3 blocks down as if she has just been castrated with a plastic fork. i broke out in a sprint and ditched the little fuck. i swam freestyle (go B division...woooot) and remember saying "oh wow, looks like ill be done by 11." hell no. i have to make finals. seated last. ass. i finally finish at 330 after getting a PB (by 2 hundredths...shut up, it counts). and thats it. my entire day. boring? no shit. oh wait...i ate another bagel. yeah. damn.
10:24 PM
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
wow. rbf rocked the socks. granted they sound better studio enhanced, but who doesnt these days. im not too keen on 3 1/2 hours of being physically violated in the pit, but it was a small price to pay. drove over with robert and lea, met up with the scores and the conroy clan. the three sisters and their cousins had all make t-shirts pronouncing thier undying love for wakefield, a band none of us had heard of, let alone enjoyed. my bitterness could come from the fact that while they were in a corner squealing over the lead singer i was getting the living fuck beaten out of myself a few yards over by 6'4'' of flailing manhands. the night closed with a mass singing of 'thats what friends are for'...a song i vaguely remember closing the several women's barbershop conventions ive attended. im sensing a connection. in a few short years we'll be moshing to mr. sandman. send my regards to broadway. im so sick of eating bagels i could die. they really arent that satisfying. dont eat them.
10:39 AM
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
laurasaura27: how ya doin?
RatmRebel5: im aight
interesting how a lack of two simple consonants can make me hate someone forever.
sign that yes, its getting worse: telemarketers now call and put you on hold for the next available operator. that's almost as bad as when the telemarketer that called every night was my mother (yes, she sold beef cuts for a pretty penny). a surefire way to get them to hang up on you is to start making small talk, or offer the competition of a staring contest. if you really want to bring out the big guns, try selling them the old volvo in your garage.
2:32 PM
ahhh, early afternoon. the breeze blows, and my stereo is blaring. a soundtrack of SchoolHouse Rock, but at least its educational. i dont think the Japs to the left enjoy Conjunction Junction, but theyll be thanking me with a firm handshake after it improves their Engrish. recently home from Lettergirl Sleepover II - Laura Ruins Everything. at least their driveway. how can you take one look at my truck and not think it leaks oil? jesus christ. apparently im too much of a redneck to consider that driveways shouldnt be oily. sweet revenge for doghair in every nook and cranny of my belongings. dogs arent cute. they arent funny, they arent smart, and they cant understand a fucking thing youre saying. while doing a typical clean sweep of the house, i couldnt help but notice that my father had taken down several childhood pictures of myself. why would this be... granted i had some dental issues at the time, but jesus. hmm. within one week, ive written "potato chips" on the grocery list 3 times. why does no one listen to me. looks like ill have to go get the bastards myself. tonight: Reel Big Fish concert. woot? yes indeed.
2:13 PM
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