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what can brown do for you?
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Sunday, May 04, 2003
i finally did it. i made up a letter routine. who knew i had it in me. the climax of the whole ordeal was when i thought "hey, you can toss a tall flag...who says it cant be done with a shield?" i only had to hammer 5 minutes to un-dent all the corners. for future reference: dont experiment on concrete. this weekend was extremely hideous. my dad asked why the only time i want to go on vacation is when it includes someone within a 5-year age radius of myself. i couldnt tell if it was a rhetorical question or a joke. vacation with my parents wouldnt be a vacation at all, but more of a relocation of our domestic problems. whats better than a verbal backhand on the beach, or getting chewed out while surrounded by redwoods. nothing, if you ask me. nothing, that is, except a nice hearty bullet to the mouth. i sat in the car while my mother was in safeway yesterday. a man sat two cars over and across from myself trimming his nose hair with toenail scissors, using the rear-view mirror as a guide. i chuckled, pleased with the fact that i not only was anonymous, but hidden from view. until we made eye contact. at that point i couldnt tell who had just been stripped of their dignity...him or myself. i waited for embarrassment to sweep over him, but he gave me a shrug and continued on the other nostril. this situation made me decide im thankful i'm not a middle aged man. i had a dream last night that i was talking to someone like a priest talks to people through a confessional booth. except we were talking about the movie "an everlasting piece." granted the movie is not only foreign, its hysterical, but i cant seem to muster one reason as to why i would have the dream. i think dream interpreters are bullshit. things like if there's a head of lettuce in your dream that you'll give birth to a boy, or a shoelace resembles opportunity. i think dreams are just our mind's way of entertaining us during what could be the most boring 8 hours of unconsciousness...example: a day of high school. vegas was nice. i got a sunburn, and am now physically a redneck. 6 more weeks of school. sweet. i didnt make it into AP english (cha-chiiing) and probably wont make AP us history. while the good student in me is screaming, i find her a lot easier to smother with my pillow of laziness these days than i used to. i cant wait to join the cult of 9-to-5 ers so that i can zone out in my cubicle and call it a mid-life crisis. truth is, i just dont care. id make a good rich person. i could easily live in a glass mansion and have tea and crumpets with my bridge friends.
9:46 PM
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